If International teams were Women

Tuesday 1 December 2009
Published By: Ben Welch
International Rugby > Scotland

Scotland - Jocelyn Wildenstein
An absolute abomination that hasn’t looked good since the ‘70s and horrible to watch. But much like a scab that shouldn’t be picked you can’t help yourself and have to keep staring – if only to comment: There but for the grace of god go I!”

Wales – Leona Lewis
Reached their peak in 2008 and everyone was pleased. Now we’ve had quite enough of manufuactured rubbish so please go away and let the big boys carry on.

Ireland – Gisele Bündchen
The Grand Slam champions, and rightly so, but there are lots of stars coming through and it won’t take much to knock them off the top spot.

England – Pamela Anderson
A few year’s back they were the best in the world and no one even came close. But the last few years have been tough and the age of certain parts is starting to show. Still good to look at from the back but not much in attack.

France – Carla Bruni
Graceful, elegant and a pleasure to watch with Gallic flair and a certain J’ne sais pas.

Italy – Zooey Deschanel
An up and coming future star, that’s not quite at the top of their game but an absolute pleasure to watch!

Argentina – Kathy Burke
Not much to look at but one of the most entertaining things you’ll ever see on TV.

Samoa – Lucy Lui
Everyone’s second team and the one that you’ll always look out for their result.

Fiji – Brianna Glenn
Qucik and captivating, when on a run you can’t help but watch.

South Africa – Laila "She Bee Stingin" Ali (daughter of Muhammed Ali)
Tough, tough, tough and go down fighting. You know you’ve had a game after you’ve stepped out against them. Make them mad at your peril.

New Zealand – Kim Basinger
Reached their career peak in 1987 and was reported to take on the world. Still one of the biggest hitters in the game and are great to watch. They are also long over due a comeback to the top spot.

Australia – Kylie or Danni Minogue
You either love them or hate them, but lets be honest the whole place would be worse off and a lot uglier without them.